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WHATS NEXT

by @gschnurr

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1.
whats next 01:25
Tell all your friends from your phone in your bedroom Wait for the calls to come in Modernity is killing you Don’t focus on what’s wrong Don’t focus on what’s wrong all the time Try to see what’s next Try to see what’s next in line Dress like a ghost in your favourite black sweatpants Everyone’s being so nice Don’t focus on what’s wrong Don’t focus on what’s wrong all the time Try to see what’s next Try to see what’s next in line Something’s coming in the water I can feel it getting stronger all the time Something’s coming in the water I can feel it getting stronger all the time
2.
black coffee 03:44
Nothing new, the way I like it Sipping through my day’s black coffee I’m sitting here the way you left me Strung together like bad poetry I’m starting to care what others think of me Nothing like the way we planned it Nothing like the way we thought it’d be Save your words and fancy diction Love is just another fiction I’m starting to see what first addicted me
3.
I’m not going to stop I’m not ready to heal you I heard you’re giving it up You’re not ready to feel it There is beauty here There is beauty here (Be mine, be mine, be mine) I can’t seem to lose I’m not ready to draw I can’t seem to see Things the way they are I should have asked what you thought of me Before you moved away I should have asked what you think of me I’m not really here I guess nevermind I’m not going to look I guess I’ll never find it
4.
Follow me around at night Downtown London Spill into my ears and eyes The moment I stopped thinking about you, you appeared I’m like, “what are you doing here?” But it’s not you it’s someone else It’s my friend going out for the night It’s my friends come alive in the night It’s my friend come to haunt me tonight They say a secret never dies What a story! They say nobody ever lies They only stop thinking about you when you’re gone It’s like, “what am I doing wrong?” (Trust me) I’m not me I’m someone else All my friends going out for the night All my friends coming out for the night All my friends come to haunt me tonight All my friends come to haunt me tonight
5.
about a poem 03:20
If you still read what I write I’d double space the lines so you could write inside-the-margin notes. If I still wrote about love I’d misspell every word and punctuate in random-seeming ways. If I still sang about you I’d probably sing off key. I’d probably send the wrong message. Will you still edit my book I promised you I’d write? It’s about a poem you couldn’t figure out, you couldn’t tease apart, scribbled in my high school notebook.
6.
Look at us, birthday cake We want everything too much Too much too much too much Look at us in our brand new clothes Born and raised so Everything you ever wanted You got it you got it you got it you got it Look at us, breaking news Here today gone tomorrow Look at yourself, look at us We want this birthday cake too much This crutch is only keeping us up so long So long so long so long so long Now that God is dead, Jesus too And you’re a fool if you think that there’ll be Something else, something new Birthday cake, waiting for you
7.
boy troubles 01:57
I guess it goes like this A little bit nervous Can we just slow it down Let me think You were rewinding You were reminding me We have so much fun When we drink Through loss and gain In snow and rain It’s always just the same Just blame Boy troubles How could you be laughing? I knew this would happen Cause I would do anything for you Convincing me slowly Loving is holy I could do anything I want to
8.
When my ecstasy paints the dawn One good photograph to get it wrong All my transgressions laid out to see Every anger endangers me Love is a prison Food without flavour Four months were given For good behaviour Drowning not waving Caught in the current We’re still each other’s We never weren’t When my compromise was more delay Your sweet sticky eyes don’t look away All my family came to know you As the boy who glanced all day All that went missing All that you gave her Tell me you’ll listen And be on your best behaviour Not waving but drowning Caught in the current We almost could be We almost weren’t Like la la la la la…
9.
put him in a head lock you’re doing him a favour you’re giving him a hard look awaken your neighbour you gotta make a land sing we gotta make the bed shake you gotta fake the good fight so hold on to your heart rate awaken your neighbour awaken your neighbour awaken your neighbour he’ll thank you later not another ice age not another distance you wanna make a big change you gotta take a big risk you gotta be a good sport you’re gonna be a martyr you gotta be a good shot they’ll be thanking you later awaken your neighbour awaken your neighbour awaken your neighbour he’ll thank you later
10.
come back 02:26
These fake holidays are my least favourite You got away and God I paid for it You’re tweeting bout your day on the race track The screen won’t let you fade or come back Come back, come back, come back These fake holidays are my least favourite You got away and God I paid for it You’re tweeting bout your day at the race track The screen won’t let you fade or come back Come back Retrace your steps right back in time Tip your hat, we’ve crossed the line I know who I’m supposed to be There’s one of you there’s lots of me These short getaways are my escaping act And anyway I couldn’t fake even that There’s a part of me that meant it There’s a part that went away just to come back Come back, come back, come back Getaways are my escaping act Anyways I couldn’t fake even that There’s a part of me that means it There’s a part that went away just to come back Come back, come back, come back Retrace your steps right back in time Tip your hat, we’ve crossed the line I know who I’d rather be There’s one of you and lots of me
11.
I’m so sick of being second rate I want to be first Can’t pretend I haven’t thought of getting out of it before Oh oh oh oh It took twenty-three years of birthday songs Shoved into my face for me to see it Life can be so funny I am already old Oh oh, oh oh, I know it I’m so tired of feeling younger than the pack I want to be wise so bad I never thought of getting rid of them before Oh oh oh oh That’s a violent solution to a petty thing, I know Is it dumb that I’d feel a little braver Knowing I was better, I was stronger than you all? Oh oh oh oh It took twenty-three years of birthday songs Sung into my face for me to hear it Life can be so funny I am already old Oh oh, and don’t I know it *train passes by*
12.
Misery forever As I lie here getting older Better watch me til I’m better Better watch me til it’s over I didn’t love you like the others Gonna lie to you forever If our eyes meet underwater Better shut them til it’s over Didn’t miss you like the others Didn’t take you for a fighter If our eyes meet under covers Better quickly shut them tighter Better watch me til I’m better Better watch me til it’s over
13.
jon 02:00
Jon I heard that you’ve been sad And so it must be said You are wonderful It must be said you are wonderful I’m sorry you feel your life is shit But it’s never as bad as that, is it You’re still my favourite We’ve got adventures yet to come Oooooo Jon if you get tired of me Write it in your diary Write it down, cause nothing’s wrong Don’t confide in anyone anymore Oooooo Now that every line’s been crossed Looks like I still love you lots It must be hard You are wonderful You are wonderful You are wonderful You are wonderful, Jon
14.
I can only sit and listen to your phone ring So many times so many times I can only wait here looking like an idiot So many times so many times I’ve already spilled out everything I am to you So many times so many times I can only play the cards that I was given So many times so many times I can only sit and listen to your phone ring So many times so many times
15.
Retromantic, that’s what you called me You’re pathetic, why did you call me Oh you’re drunk, that’s what I thought so Don’t hang up Calm me down if you can And call me dumb if you want to Melatonin makes my head numb But I feel better in the morning Superstitions ring in my left ear Something kept me hanging around here You got out, moved back to your hometown I checked out Knock three times, come in through the front door Shake my faith, if that’s what it’s there for Place my hands on your chest so I know it’s you
16.
Every morning I am sober despite how much I drank last night My mind is like a puzzle and the pieces never fit quite right together I’m a danger to myself and I know That as long as I’ve been running there is further yet to go That language still is haunting me, identity formation I remember every tone and pause of every conversation That I had about you with your sister on the phone You said you’d stay with me forever so you’d never be alone And we got stuck and wanted out Talk cause you like talking We got old and the focus switched from wanting things to having them One day I’m going to marry you, thank God we live in Canada The ceilings so high our voices echoed in the rafters Like feelings changing day by day happily ever after Don’t get stuck wanting out Sing cause you like singing La da da di da da da Call it what you want I don’t see myself as pedantic I’ll be in the campus pub arguing semantics With Phil and the friends he met in Sociology And we’ll be free we’ll be free we’ll be free Did you know when you look at the stars You’re really looking back in time a hundred billion years? And every galaxy in space is shaped like a disc You and I occupy a tiny part of it But if I didn’t have you You, my darling perfect gem Who would help me with those silly life things? You know I always sucked at them
17.
Some of us are the water Some of us are the sky Some of us are trees And we do what we please Without wondering why Some of us are forgetful Some of us can be wise Some of us stared unblinking Back at the sun as it rose in our eyes Sometimes you were happy Sometimes you were sad Sometimes you hid your face in your room When your boyfriend was making you mad Sometimes I feel lucky I ever got to know The lousy deal of a love that you feel But can never show
18.
I used to be someone I used to do something right I used to date someone I’m better without him (good) I’ve been feeling brown I’ve been feeling gray I’ve been feeling dumb I’ve been feeling great I used to be someone I used to do something right I used to date someone I’m better without him I’ve been feeling brown I’ve been feeling gray I’ve been feeling dumb I’ve been feeling great If the worst is yet to come The best years on the way It’s not the way you were It’s not the way you’ve stayed

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released March 29, 2013

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@gschnurr London, Ontario

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