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long long london winter

by @gschnurr

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1.
cannonball 02:28
i don't care about anyone or anything at all i don’t lose my creepy genes fast as a cannonball i walk hazy down the street, broad daylight in the hall don’t know what’s worse is it to be at fault or not at all? not at all, not at all, not at all not at all, not at all, not at all life is tough and then you die and we jump around in joy golden rings and other things you’d both learned to enjoy i don’t care about creepy genes or bullets down the hall don’t know what i’d give to get someone who’s got it all got it all, got it all, got it all got it all, got it all, got it all and though my friends i’d love to leave here i'm so afraid of walking out of my front door when it ends will i still be here happier than i have ever been before? i could sing a million things you’ll never understand guess that’s it you say i quit looking every bit a man no you can’t, yes i can, yes i can
2.
absurdly and patiently and not the slightest bit lovingly you left as soon as you saw the river that flowed from the ink in your notes to the chipped paint on my door like oh have i been here before? calmly and narrowly dodging the bullets you throw at me clumsily i might add a failed attempt at best to capitalize on the success of our former formal get together oh have i been here forever? and the library did not help like we thought it would and our digital courtship has not done a bit of good so why would your shoes on that bed in that photo arrest my senses so? between books you came to me and just the slightest bit lovingly i've kept the pages all wrong the last few years have been short the last few days have felt so long waiting at your door and I’m like oh have i been here before? and the library did not help like we thought it would and our digital courtship has not done a bit of good so why would your shoes on that bed in that photo arrest my senses so? it’s sunshine glorious yellow out there i could not live with you it’s so unlucky to laugh before breakfast i know at least you had someone to count on until i let you down did you let me down?no… (dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb) it did not help like we thought it would and our digital courtship has not done a bit of good so why would your shoes on that bed in that photo arrest my senses so? calmly and narrowly you just couldn’t go through with me we got the actors all cast a real attempt at last to count the days as they fly past both our heads together
3.
did you read that book with the klee on the cover? the one that reminded me of ancient days, our thieving ways, and all things truly fake are these the phone calls i was destined to make? did you think of me as a friend on the lam? then add the rumours of promised lands, your icy hands are more than i can take is this the smile that i was destined to fake? with the drawing of these boots and the voice of this calling no more sitting on the roof while our snow day is falling the feeling left through the cracks in the doors and i thought every blue coat was yours and the colour obscene (are these the motions i was destined to make?) with the drawing of these boots and the voice of this calling no more sitting on the roof while our snow day is falling the feelings left through the cracks in the doors and i thought every blue coat was yours you know what i’m talking about how i wish i could have helped you out the feeling left through the cracks in the doors and i thought every blue coat was yours and the colour obscene
4.
teleprompter 03:27
so listen hey, we did it we’ve got the lines you’ve got to know this is a play and you’re in it we’ve got this all under control you saw a way to win it to take advantage of the show and that’s ok, you didn’t just please don’t ask how much we know now or how we had ideas, we sold them they weren’t much use here in our heads we were out of control then we let our minds change us instead of dead love maybe you can remind me why I’m on stage not hiding out where you would not find me and you showed up the very – oh…
5.
tie him to the kitchen table so he don’t forget addiction is a motherfucker monster of regret i said “andy, you’re killing me” drowning in the irrelevancy the frontman piqued with interest he had alejandric charm clench your teeth in protest as you shot it in your arm listen, andy, it’s killing you to never say the things you want to andy dreams of standing in the spotlight standed stranded blinded by that white, white light and i know, i know, i know, i know, i want to i know, i know, i know, you know he wants to too but he can’t quit andy just can’t help it curse this wretched language like a bullet in my mouth i guess it’s not the only thing i couldn’t live without i said “andy, i'm not your friend, don’t ever make the same mistake again” andy dreams of standing in the spotlight standed stranded blinded by that white, white light and i know, i know, i know, i know, i want to i know, i know, i know, you know he wants to too but he can’t quit andy just can’t help it save me from myself so i can save myself from you don’t feel bad for trying, there was nothing you could do listen, andy, you never knew what it really was you went through
6.
cities 02:19
old songs, old music, covers of katy perry, church music, saturday night music, music for squares, music for teens, music for nothing, music for broke, mtv has spoke. finally getting some exposure on the big stage, finally setting off some fireworks, let’s not forget such a handsome man, let’s not forget how handsome he is! new songs, new music, covers of katy perry, church music, oakville music, music from st. george’s square downtown, let’s not forget we saw him on the other end. him and his friends in the pub, people i didn’t know with the handsome man on the verge of success and how i longed to go up to him and shake his hand, how i longed to embarrass myself in front of all my friends! they knew him too before he was famous, in fact they do not know how famous he is. we all sat on the rug and played a silly game, me and some of the friends i think i have made, me and some good looking people, some young people i am pretty sure i am in love with (the same young people as before). i love the one with the electric goofy grin and her eyes wide like diamonds, her teeth like porcelain china, speaks with her hands and the whole room is listening. we all follow her easy stories, easy weaving, threading this and that tapestry of colour, we sit on the rug enthralled by her engaging blue jean flower ease, her freckles and her manic her manic laugh. tell me, are there any cities left?
7.
free will 03:06
ooh let’s save this weekend ooh any way we can ooh come on i'm waiting and ooh that’s all i'm saying oh why do i feel this way? is it a sign that jesus is on his way? what has your horoscope been telling you lately? ooh oh my life’s on replay she took a stroll around the park on her wedding day she shot a target in the dark and it got away ooh free will take your time free will make her mine fear will take my mind fear won’t make her mine oh and i don’t blame science for taking orders and a vow of silence those guilty police sirens go ooh ooh is this just another feeling? same clockwork orange appealing same as the other ideas i'm stealing ooh
8.
you’re inept i kept my clothes on as you wept and you meant it too i was already there we were smoking on the bed what did you care if i slept there too? but you’re inept so i kept my clothes on as you leapt and i meant it too not tonight i have a boyfriend not tonight you have one too...
9.
small fire 01:00
start the car chief we’re running for the exit we’re leaving at the earliest time if you will have us then we made a small fire in the woods and broke into the ivey school of business the cops surround our fortress and i swear that i would be there you heard a gunshot (lol) you don’t deserve to die for this (lol) you don’t deserve anything you got you don’t deserve anything you want you don’t deserve anything you got you don’t deserve anything you want you and your other roommates (lol) passed out on the pull out couch (lol) passed out at the earliest time couldn’t have been 9 or 10 o’clock you don’t deserve anything you got you don’t deserve anything you want you don’t deserve anything at all anything at all
10.
two sisters 03:42
two friends, two sisters crossing the border in the cambodian heat walked ten miles down the wrong side of the street refusing help and haggling 'what price tourist visas?' foreigners, daggers, thieves on a broken down bus, an american twenty two sisters, two canadians too many reasons just to stay here and you, you knew it well you bleeding guests in a shit hotel she cleaned up her act to see a presque non-reaction from the visiting brits but all i get are pieces and bits of this sense a hatred from chaque side of the silence and my stoned stare across the room oh so what if i'm not the same? i'll always admire you, i'll always admire you two friends, two sisters, two best friends three cousins moving to vancouver as early as this spring my don’t you learn anything? don’t you learn anything?
11.
thanks 02:03
thanks but i don’t know what for i guess for getting me out of doors for once with swingsets and suns on our backs thanks for not mentioning that i was a tired and lonely kid thanks for never saying what i did just like i didn’t tell them that you make a mess of everything that you do hahaha

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released December 12, 2010

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